One dark April night, my life was changed forever. It would later show the best in my life to be the worst, and the worst my best. In short, my life was a lie. It seemed I was living the dream. Only fifteen years old, and yet i had everything a teenage girl could ever want. At least, that's what it looked like to the outside looking in.
My band, well, i should say OUR band, grew to be very famous.what started as garage noise turned into something amazing. I was fourteen when my brother asked me to join his band. He'd been playing in Black Lace for a year and a half when his girlfriend Tatiana, who was the lead vocalist, was diagnosed with lung cancer. It messed him up pretty bad, and after 6 months of silence, i was afraid he'd never touch his bass again.
On the day Tatiana died he took it out of his closet, tuned it up, and didn't put it down for two days. Non-stop he played, not eating, not drinking, not sleeping. Not talking. Not really seeing anything, either. It was almost as if he hoped his music would bring her back. The last thing she said was to him, and only him. "play for me. Even when i'm gone, keep playing, and don't stop. Music is your life, and you should never let it go. Play for what you believe in."
Well, I guess not exactly her last words. the last thing she said was 'i love you' to elias, of course. I bet that if he could have died right there, with her in his arms, he would've. Even more readily, though, he would've sold his soul in exchange for hers, traded his life for hers. He didn't need to tell me this for me to know, because it was obvious. Anyone would've done the same for her, whether they'd known her for 5 minutes, or their whole life.
Tatiana was the most out of everything in the world. Absolutely everything at once, and never skipping a beat. As you've probably guessed, yes, she was beautiful. Gorgeous. Stunning. There aren't really words to describe her. As i say, she was everything to the extreme. she wasn't sad; she was desolate. she wasn't happy; she was ecstatic. she wasn't mad, she was infuriated.
And she was loved, and did love everything and everyone, mean or kind, old or young, black or white or yellow, she loved everyone unconditionally. And you couldn't help but to love her once you'd met her, because she was just that kind of person. I like to think that when she died, the sun stopped shining as bright, almost as if there was no point to shining as beautifully, if not for her.
On my fourteenth birthday, my brother gave me a microphone, with black lace wrapped around the handle, and tied in a big beatiful bow. I looked at him, puzzled. there was no doubt that i loved it, it was beautiful, and perfect. I loved to sing. But the black lace ?
"you don't mean ...... ?" I pursed my lips at him, thinking.
"you're the only other person i'd want, we'd want, and if Black Lace is going to make it anywhere, then we need a singer of the highest caliber. So, will you ?"
He didn't even need to ask. i jumped up into his arms, and hugged him tight. it was the best birthday present he could've given me. i loved elias and the guys, and although i didn't think i could replace tatiana ever, in any way at all, enthusiasm, talent, or raw beauty, i hoped i could at least make her proud, wherever she was.
you might be wondering now why elias named his band black lace when all of the memebers were guys, except for tatiana. i'm not entirely sure, other than the fact that it fit perfectly, and no other name would do. maybe tatiana suggested it. maybe they thought it would be a statement. maybe my brother is just a fruity-boy. the only thing that relaly mattered though, was that it was their name. our name.
i adored all of the guys, and they liked me, all except one. he played lead guitar, and i've only ever known him as fender. fen was what they called him though. other girls would call him "a dream". yeash, he was cute. or hot. however you feel like wording it. to me, he's ice. he ever speaks, at least not that i've heard. and his eyes ..... wow. they would almost be silver, but for the little flecks of blue dancing around in his irises. so to me, they looked like ice, and you can understand why i thought him to be so.
his hair was black, with bright blue tips, and a single white-blond streak in his bangs. pretty amazing hair, the lucky guy, and it suited him perfectly. he was definately the most gorgeous guy i knew, and he was also my first crush. at first, i would daydream about him, and hope that one day he'd realize how madly in love with me he was. this was about when i was 13, when the band first started up.
eventually, the icy glares, and cold silence, took their toll on me, and i gave up. i'd say, oh, about two weeks later. i know, i know, but hey, i was thirteen. and very, very fickle. and so i just treated him as another one of the guys, and tried to ignore the looks he'd give me sometimes. they were un-interpretable, so i had no idea what he was thinking about. if only he would talk to me, and tell me things no one else knew. things that were trapped inside his head, with no one to share them with. He was also the songwriterr of the group, for the most part.
Man, were those songs ever amazing. Inspiring, and great, and i couldn't wait to sing them. i was the youngets in the band. my brother was nineteen at the time, fen was turning sixteen, and dan, the drummer had just had his twenty-second birthday. i didn't really notice the age differences though. Black Lace became my family, replacing my broken one. i guess i should really say non-existent. my father was an abusive drunk, and one day drank himself into a stupor and got hit by a car. my mother couldn't handle the pressure of caring for me and elias, and left us on her sister's doorstep.
aunt amy was great, and she tried to be like a mom as best she could. i loved her all the more for that. but me and elias never quite felt like we belonged there. so as soon as elias graduated from school, he got a good job, found an apartment, and moved me us into it. a little while after we settled in, tatiana joined us. she was just like an older sister to me, so i didn't quite mind that it was just me, elias, and tatiana. tatiana had a family, and a big, loving one at that. she just felt her place was with us, she said.
the guys would come and stay with us from time to time. sometimes to jam, sometimes to hang. sometimes just because they'd been kicked out of their houses, or were between places. the apartment never felt empty, and i would fall asleep every night to the sound of music.
oh no. i've gotten off track. i can't even think what i was trying to say in the first place. let me think for a minute, and try to remember.